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From: steakman@wwa.com (SteakMan)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.penn-n-teller
Subject: Little Houdini and the Hair Dryer
Date: 22 Mar 1995 02:19:25 GMT
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============================================================================
"LittleHoudini and the Hair Dryer"
A story about Penn Jillett, told by Penn Jillett, and recanted (without 
permission) by SteakMan.

DISCLAIMER: This story was told over the air in Chicago on a radio station
called The Loop.  I didn't record it so this is recanted from my
biological memory banks, which are prone to error.
----------------------------------------- 
    Penn was doing a show in the town of one of his ex-girlfriends.  He
went to visit her and she invited him to stay in the guest room rather
than stay in a hotel.  She shared the house with a girlfriend who
absolutely hated Penn, as girlfriends of ex-girlfriends are prone to do. 
The story really got interesting when Penn woke up before everybody else
and decided to take a shower.  The shower was un-eventful, Penn got
himself all squeaky clean like he intended to do.  When he finished the
shower he stepped out only to find that he had forgotten to make sure that
there were any towels.  There were no towels to be found and walking
around the house naked would not be a good way to start out new relations
with his ex-girlfriend.  Penn found the hair dryer and a thought formed in
his head that he hadn't ever conside red.  He dried his hair and continued
with the rest of his body.  Penn was thrilled with his ingenious solution
to his predicament.  His legs, arms, and torso were getting drier than
ever before.  Not only that, but this hair dryer had a two inch extension
that protected his body parts from the hot metal parts within.  Then he
had a dangerous thought; Little Houdini has never been truly dry.  Little
Houdini spends all day smooshed against his buddy, the scrotum, and
consequently, is always hot and sweaty.  Little Houdini has been dry, but
his underside has never been *completely* dry.  Soooo, Penn took a hold of
Little Houdini by his head, stretched him out and applied the heat to his
underside.  Penn was tickled to death with his own ingenuity and Little 
Houdini had never felt better.     

     Just as he was trying to figure out how to pat himself on the back or
patent his new idea, Penn was startled by a noise.  Penn's ex-girlfriend's
girlfriend's head had banged against the wall in her sleep.  Thinki ng
that it was one of the girls trying to come in he panicked, he didn't want
to get caught in this embarrassing position.  The noise startled him so,
that he lost his grip on Little Houdini.  Little Houdini fell though the
extension and his head laid to rest on the hot metal grating.  The grating
wasn't HOT it was WHITE HOT.  There was the sound of sizzling meat and
scent of burning flesh.  Penn was able to pry Little Houdini out of the
hair dryer but poor little Little Houdini had a lattice work of whit e
blisters on his head.  Penn took care of him as best he could and
carefully got dressed.
     
     Later that night, things went very well with Penn's ex-girlfriend and
it looked like they might get back together.  In fact things started to
get rather heavy that night and her hands started to roam close to Little
Houdini.  Obviously, Little Houdini was in no mood to come out and play so
Penn was forced to tell her the whole story about no towels, the hair
dryer, and the lattice work.  She just about cried.  She said "That's just
it, That's the problem with you.  Things like this just don't happen to
normal people!" 
----------------------------------------- 
I hope you allenjoyed the story(comments are welcomed at the address below)... 
I sure enjoyed hearing it... And Penn, I hope you don't mind me sharing 
it.  :)

SteakMan

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